Adulthood

I've been trying to write a blog post the past few days, but I've come up short. I don't know what to write about, in both fiction and non-fiction. I suppose I'm in a bit of a dry spell, sort of creatively tapped. I want to change that - do the whole "force myself to write" thing. Let's see how it goes.

Today I went downtown for lunch with Emily. We ate at Cafe Pichlingue, which has yumy food and a cute interior, but the owner is a little...unreceptive. However, it was past the lunch hour, so the cafe was quiet. We had the place mostly to ourselves for the larger part of our time there. It was great - it felt less like a public place, more intimate. We talked a lot about what we joked after were very "adult" topics - apartments, jobs, university, our relationships. My conversation with Emily made me realize something, something that I have been realizing more and more this week - I am an adult. I realize that this probably sounds ridiculous because I am an adult, and have been a legal adult for three years now. It just didn't feel like an adult. Sure, I moved away from home, went to college, started making a life for myself. But I didn't feel like a real adult. I just felt...like me. But now, it's different. I don't know what exactly is different about this week, maybe it's the end of the school year looming, maybe it's the fact that I am in a committed relationship for the first time ever, maybe it's the fact that Dylan and I don't know where either of us will end up come September. Maybe it's the fact that we have been toying with the idea of moving in together in September, which, quite frankly, is kind of scary. Maybe it's a combination of all of those.

But my point in this post isn't to throw all of my fears out onto the internet. It's just a musing, a musing as to why all of a sudden life feels more adult. And what does that even mean? My life before was certainly "adult" - I had responsibilities that I fulfilled, I paid bills, I ran a successful theatre production, etc. It's strange that now, suddenly, I feel like an adult more than I did before.