BEDA Day 31 | Beginnings and Endings

Whoa. How is it the last day of BEDA already? I don't want it to be over! Despite what I said in my last blog. It's nice to have something I do every single day like this. Even if I have nothing to say. Though I do have a few things to say today. So, this blog, in Vlogbrothers fashion, comes in two parts!

Part 1: Beginnings and Endings

As most of you know, I am a huge wizard rock fan and my favourite band that is still currently making music is Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls. (The only other band who comes close to being in the same league for my love of their music is the Mudbloods.) Well, last night Christian announced that after Wrockstock 4 he wouldn't be playing anymore big shows as OBatR. He won't be releasing the other House EPs, though he does still have Bare Bones Volume 2 and another EP in the works. So at least we'll get some more music out of him before he hangs his wizard robes. He is going to be writing Muggle Music, so that's good but...this means that I will never get to see him live. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that I was devastated when I read his blog post. I knew what it was as soon as I saw the link on Twitter, but that didn't mean to say that I wasn't still upset. BUT I have thought it about, and I've gotten over the initial shock. And while I'm sad and disappointed that I'll never get to see him play as OBatR, I have faith that I'll get to see him play as Christian Caldera.

Christian, if you read this, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for all of the time you put into making such inspirational music. There isn't a time when I feel upset or sad that your music doesn't cheer me up. I can be having the worst day ever, and I put on one of your albums, and half-way through the first song that pops up, I am singing and smiling. So I have to thank you for that. Your music is such an inspiration, even for someone like me who can't write music to save her life. I love the way you write your lyrics. I think if wizard rock was ever to go main-stream (Merlin help us if that happens!) your music would be some of the first to hit the audiences because it's so general. And I love that. So, thank you. I hope to see you at Leaky Con - even if you're not going to be playing. :)

Part 2: Looking Back

Looking back over this month, I can't believe how fast it went. I honestly have no idea how it got to be August 31. It's September tomorrow. September! HOW did this happen, pray tell? School will be starting soon, summer is almost over. I'm nervous now that we're so close.

I tried to look back over my blog posts to see what exactly I did this month, but nothing really popped out at me. I did a lot of random posts, I did a few really good posts. So I'm going to try to remember off the top of my head some things that have really impacted me this month.

The start of the month had me working a lot. I was really not impressed at the time, but I would rather be working all the time like that than what I have been lately. It's boring. But anyway. I was working a lot. I left Ardene's, and it was bittersweet. They told me that I could come back at any time, which is amazing. I got "promoted" at the HPA. John Green tweeted at me. I played a lot of Pokemon and did a lot of writing. I started posting on fanfiction.net again. We lost Esther. Mockingjay was released. I got accepted as a LeakyCon volunteer. I got a TARDIS. I moved. I spent some quality time at the lake. I watched a lot of Torchwood.

Most of this is really trivial. Some of it has meant a lot to me. But I still don't know where the month went. It's been an amazing month, and I look forward to writing more soon. (Though probably not until the end of the week.)

Listening To: Every Star, Every Planet - Murray Gold
Reading: Yep, you guessed it - Dracula.
Writing: Erm. Nothing?
Thankful for: Summer.

BEDA Day 30 | Remaking the World

What's this? An interesting blog post? No way! XD

This morning on Twitter there is buzz (of the horrified variety) of a possible Back to the Future remake with...dare I say it?....Justin Bieber as Marty Mcfly. Now, I'm not a particular fan of the films - I've only ever seen the first one. But even I know that this is wrong wrong wrong. a) It's Justin Bieber. b) Back to the Future does not need to be remade.

Hollywood has an obsession with remaking films - and usually the remake is about 100 times worse than the original. Let's face it, the only reason Hollywood thinks they need to even do a remake is because they want to cash in on the franchise, which I can understand to an extent. Hollywood is a business. They need to make money. But I am getting more and more frustrated with their Malfoy-like ways. How worth it is it to destroy what was a perfectly good film just to get some more cash from the franchise? I guess what I want to say is that it would be best to just leave the good films alone. They're already good, why remake them? If there is a real need to remake a film, find one that didn't do so well and make it better. Improve the quality of the film.

Maybe the obsession with remakes has to do with lack of original stories to tell. At least, that sounds like an excuse someone might give. But I don't think that's true. As a story teller myself, I'm finding new stories all the time. Okay, they may not be completely original - because a totally original story isn't possible at this point - but the way they are told are original. Take The Hunger Games - it isn't just another story about a hero, not at all. It's not even a revolution story. It's got about a million layers to it and every one of them could be labelled. If Suzanne Collins can do it, the screenwriters in Hollywood can too.

In a lot of ways, the obsession with remakes in Hollywood is a lot like the obsession with sequels. Look at the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Curse of the Black Pearl was obviously the best, and the franchise just went down from there. Yet they're making another one. Never mind that the franchise is going to be destroyed by the time that they're done, nothing more than drivel (Free Willy anyone?), all for the sake of getting some more cash in their pocket. True, some sequels are worth it. Like Toy Story 3. But it is a rarity.

This is so frustrating for me - I want to enter this industry. This industry who thrives on remake after sequel after remake, slowly destroying the films they make until the quality is nothing more than shit. At least independent filmmakers are still making good films.

Listening To: Werewolf Love - Tonks and the Aurors
Reading: Dracula (it's taking me way too long to get through this book...)
Writing: Once Upon an Earth. Yes, that's right! My NaNoWriMo from last year! Le gasp!
Thankful for: Independent creativity. (There is a reason I only listen to YouTube musicians, after all)

BEDA Day 29 | Blah blah blah

So I'm currently sitting on Elise's computer, because I am at her house, listening to Billy Boyd's gawgeous voice. I drove an hour to come see her because that was the kind of day I was having. But I don't want to talk about that, cus my bad day is over now. I'm helping her pack. AKA I'm watching her pack and giving my opinion on whether or not she should take a certain piece of clothing with her. It's going to suck driving home tonight when I'm so tired. (I didn't get much sleep last night.)

I again do not know what I should be talking about tonight. I'm really glad the month is nearly over so that I can take a break from blogging and get some ideas in my head again.

This morning I finished watching Season 1 of Torchwood. I'm so glad I didn't quit watching the show. I am kind of in love with it. Despite the ickyness of Gwen. (I really don't like her, btw) But seriously Owen is nummmmmmy. And so is Jack. Ianto, not so much. But he is awesome. And Tosh is fan-freaking-tastic. I love the characters, except for Gwen. Well, and Rhys. Don't really like him, either. But ANYWAY, I finished Season 1 and then had to go and watching..er...I can't remember the name of the episode, but the episode where Jack and the Doctor get reunited. And I was nearly late to work because I watched so much tv. Ooooops.

...annnd this is where this baby is gonna end, because this is getting weird and rambly.

Listening To: Elise play guitar
Writing: Nothinnnnnnn
Thankful for: Escapisms!
Reading: Dracula!

BEDA Day 28 | The Law of Attraction

It's late and I nearly forgot to blog and I have no idea what to write. (Yay intentional run on sentences?)

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......ermmmmmm........oh!

So I went to this charity concert tonight that my brother was hosting. He's raising money for the Easter Seals, and he needs to raise $1,500 by the 8th (I think?) so that he can jump off of a building. He's terrified of heights, so I'm super proud of him for doing this. But he's still really far behind his goal. :( So if you guys could go donate, that would be awesome. Even if it's just a couple dollars. Donate?

But that wasn't what I went "oh!" about. I went "oh!" because for the charity concert, I designed the poster. And the band that was playing liked the poster so much, that they hinted they may be interested in having me design their CD. So I jumped on that, but I DO NOT HAVE ANY BUSINESS CARDS PRINTED. *face palm* So I had to give them my name and email address on A PIECE OF PAPER. How fugging unprofessional! I felt like such an idiot being like "I'd love to design your CD! Here, have a scrap of paper!" :\

Note to self: PRINT BUSINESS CARDS.

But I just love how things like this happen. I mean, I did the poster because my brother is my brother and I wanted to contribute. I couldn't give money, so I gave him the poster. I feel like it's really insufficient, but I can't do more right now. I didn't expect anything from it at all. I don't even think it's that good of a poster, to be honest. Definitely not my best. (This would be where I wanted to link my portfolio, but apparently my host - aka my school - is down or something. Or they took the website down. :\ I need my own domain.) This is why I love the universe. It always gives back. I mean, I haven't had the best summer of my life, but I've been positive - for the most part. And the universe is repaying me. I mean, I've won something from so many of the contests I've entered, even if they're just small things, like a free song from my friend Mikey (who is AMAZING, by the way), or a chapter on writing mystery from the Harry Potter For Writers contest. I found out about those last minute, but somehow I managed to win something from them. It's just fantastic. I love The Law of Attraction.

Listening to: Since March, Since September And Still - The Mudbloods (on repeat)
Reading: Dracula!
Writing: Bloggity blog blog blog
Thankful for: Amazing opportunities

Crystal Light

I'm sitting here, sipping on my very watery Raspberry Crystal Light, wondering - what happened to REAL juice? Obviously, it's still out there. But not for a measly 10 calories! No way! Gotta have Crystal Light for that!

I get that people are trying to be more conscious of what they put into their bodies, which is great! And I do it too! But seriously...juice is juice. Just drink the damn stuff. And I feel like a major hypocrite writing that because of the diet I'm on. It requires very strict counting of the calories. But I mean, once I get off the actual diet and get used to cooking on my own again - and so that I don't gain the weight back - I'm not going to be counting religiously. I'll have an ice cream if I want. Maybe I'll just go for a run or something after. But there are people who count every single calorie they put into their body, and I just don't get that. Maybe it's because I just love food too much to do that. But restriction isn't the way to go, in my opinion. Restriction sucks. It makes you want the food even more. Eating healthy really isn't that hard. As John Green said - "less brown, more green." And exercise. And portion control. There ya go - presto changeo!

Oh, society.

Listening to: The Master Plan - Murray Gold
Reading: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Thankful for: Foooood
Writing: A few things. Fanfics. Unspeakable and also a fanfic called One Word.

Oh! By the way! I started posting on fanfiction.net! Go see! http://www.fanfiction.net/~siriusismyhero I promise you won't regret it. :)

BEDA Day 26

I have officially run out of things to talk about.

I've been pretty good for the past 25 days. I've posted every day, and usually it had something meaningful behind it. But today I am just...lost for what to say. So, I'm going to make a random list of thoughts. Just weird thoughts. Cus I'm cool like that and don't know what else to blog about.

- I need to reread Mockingjay
- I wish I had more money to buy purty clothes
- I love fanfiction
- I should be plotting my NaNoWriMo
- Getting letters excites me so much. I also need to write some.
- Doctor Who. <3
- There is no way to describe how peaceful I feel after doing yoga.
- RIA Esther.
- Nerdfighteria and the HP Community is so amazing
- I really can't wait for LeakyCon
- The power of the voice in instrumental music astounds me
- I hate having nothing to do in a day
- I can't wait till Elise moves in
- 6 more pounds!
- I wonder if I can buy my textbooks yet
- Rose was annoying. I was glad when she had to go to the other world, not gonna lie.
- After 9 regenerated, I didn't watch Doctor Who for about a month. (Considering I watched all five series in three months, that's saying something)
- I honestly wasn't sad when 10 regenerated.
- When 11 does I'm going to bawl.
- I'm bored with my current life.
- At least school will erase the boredom and bring some excitement back into my life.
- My stationary is really pretty.
- I need to start remembering to feed my fish so Kayla doesn't have to do it all the time.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....I guess that's it.

Listening To: The Eleventh Doctor's Theme
Reading: Dracula (yes, still.)
Writing: A fanfic called Unspeakable. Also, a letter to Delana.
Thankful For: Amazing friendsies. <3

BEDA Day 25 | Esther

I never knew Esther. I never spoke to her or interacted with her. But I knew of her. I knew of her goodness, her strength, her courage. I knew that she was fighting the cancer with all that she had and I knew that she wanted to live more than anything. I know that she wanted to do good for the world. I know that she was one of the most amazing Nerdfighters there are. I know that she was an enormous supporter of the HPA and that she brought in a LOT of votes for HPAFTW. And I know that the world seems a little less bright now.

Before HPAFTW, I had never even heard of Esther. But as soon as John made that video with her in it, I knew she was someone special. It wasn't his words, or the comments on the video, it was something about her. She seemed just so ecstatic to be alive. And that was just so inspiring for me.

Esther, I know you're in a better place now. You're at peace, free of pain. But you will be missed. You are loved, even by those who never knew you. RIP.

BEDA Day 24 | Mockingjay!!!! (No Spoilers)

So. I went to that release party I was talking about last night for Mockinjay. It was kind of awesome. I doubt there were even a dozen people in attendance, but Kayla and Emily and I had a good time. Well, I had a good time, haha. I don't know about the other two.

We got there a little before 10 and they had these "training stations" set up. We grabbed a "passport" that we had to get stamped and then went around to the stations, which were water, medicine, food, weapons and matches. The only one that didn't really do anything was Medicine - we just went up to the cash desk and got a stamp. But at Water we had to answer a trivia question successfully (mine asked who Katniss' stylist was. Easy.) At Food we got to make like Peeta and decorate cupcakes, which fun AND delicious (thought not so good for ze diet). Weapons was one of the most fun stations - we had to play these games. One was a version of tic tac toe where we had to bounce ping pong balls into cups of water set out. THAT was super fun. And the other game I tried was to retrieve two pennies from the toes of pantiehoes, while the pantiehoes were on my arms. We couldn't use our hands at all to get the pennies, or to get the pantiehoes off, so that was really kind of awesome and fun. Oh, and it was timed. We had to do it under a minute. The other game was like a cup stacking game, kind of. There was a pile of cups, all blue except one red one, and you had to basically reverse the order of the cups before the minute was up. I didn't do that one. And then at Matches, which I think should have been the Camouflage station, we made masks or headbands. Or rather we decorated them. That was kind of awesome. Mine is purty. It's hanging on my wall of stuff, along with my Mockingjay pin (which I bought last night).

After we had done all of the stations, Kayla and I decided to write some Nerdfighter notes and put them in John's books. I love writing Nerdfighter notes. Then we wandered and I grabbed Quidditch Through the Ages and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (because I didn't own them yet...bad!) and then we went back and played the tic-tac-toe ping pong again, this time against the other "Tributes" so that we could possibly win the signed copy of Mockingjay. (Neither of us won). All in all, a good night, despite an obnoxious girl who had to one-up everyone and had to have her say in everything. But she was easily ignored.

After we got our books, we got home, made a cup of tea, and tucked in to our books. Well, Kayla tucked in to Catching Fire, me, Mockingjay. I only read for a couple of hours last night, but finished it about half an hour ago. I'm still processing and absorbing everything that happened. There were some tears and a lot of exclamations - sometimes one followed the other. But I predicted what was going to happen in a few parts, which was sad. I hadn't done that before. And some other things I figured would happen, but was in denial about, and then it happened and I was heartbroken. Well, I'm still heartbroken about some things actually. (Hell, I'm heartbroken about one of the deaths in Catching Fire. And in The Hunger Games. So I think this one will stick for a while)

And I think I'm going to end it abruptly here because I've run out things to say. XD May the odds be ever in your favour!

Reading: Mockingjay, though technically I just finished it.
Writing: Nothing at the moment.
Thankful for: Good literature than ensnares you and doesn't let you stop reading until you're done, and even then doesn't let you go.
Listening To: Give Up The Ghost - The Remus Lupins

(I'm not very good at doing that little segment, I seem to always forget XD)

BEDA Day 23 | Tired Jodi is Tired

I am exhausted. This is not good. I am going to be up laaaaate tonight reading Mockingjay. Which I am SOSOSOSOSOSOSO excited for! (Midnight release, what!)

But I don't really know what to blog about today. Besides the fact that I NEVER EVER have to see The Roomate From Hell again. I handed my keys in before I went home on Saturday. Wait...did I mention this already? I honestly don't remember.

*yawn stretch* I really don't want to write anything today, but it's day twenty-three. I can't exactly FAIL on day twenty-three. That would just be awful.

Uhm. Lists! Let's make a list of random thoughts

1. I should go see if I can buy my textbooks soon. And buy the rest of my school supplies. Including clothes. Hrm.
2. It is very rare that celebrities (aka Tom Felton) will tweet back at you even if you tweet at him every single time. SO STOP IT. /annoyed
3. MOCKINGJAYYYYYYYYY
4. I got Kayla hooked on The Hunger Games. Bahahaha.
5. I cheated really badly on my diet this weekend. :\
6. Including today. And I want to cheat more tonight because there's going to be cupcake decorating but I shouldn't. :\
7. I miss Elise
8. MOCKINGJAAAAAAAAY
9. Tired Jodi is tired. (No, really?)

...this feels like this post should be TOMORROWS post, rather than todays.

...and I have a Jenny Craig appointment at 10 tomorrow morning. Oh shit.

BEDA Day 22 | Racism in the Real World

People say that racism doesn't really exist in our society anymore. Well I am here to call bull shit. Racism is just as prevalant now as it was ten years ago, or fifteen years ago. It's still there. It's only become more taboo, so people try to hide it. But sometimes they fail.

Like take this business with the Mosque being built near Ground Zero. There are people all up in arms about it, and I just don't understand what the big deal is. If anything, it will do good - help mend some bridges. It's not like it was the Muslims who will be using the Mosque who commandeered those planes and sent them careening into the World Trade Center Towers. It was terrorists, who yes, happened to be Muslims. But terrorism isn't unique to the Muslim faith. Have people forgotten about the Crusades? That was some of the worst terrorism ever, and it was definitely not done by Muslims. It was done to Muslims.

But that isn't the point. My point in this is that people need to get over themselves. Get past their biggotry and their racisms and their judgement. It's just a Mosque. People just want a place of worship, and really, what better way to remember the people who were killed in those attacks than to worship there? To move away from the racism?

BEDA Day 21 | Home

I'm sitting in my parents living room right now after a very enjoyable afternoon. It's funny, I have done things today that I used to do so grudgingly when I was growing up. Like helping in the garden and washing carrots and helping to move plants around. I would bitch and moan about it when I had to do it growing up, but I volunteered to do it now. How funny is that?
I was also thinking about how amazing garden vegetables are. I think garden peas are probably my favourite food ever. Except for maybe strawberries. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Another thought - it's funny how "home" doesn't really feel like home anymore. I drive here and I see all the familiar places, feel all the memories washing over me. I see my old school, the places I used to wander to during school hours. I see the roads I walked when I was bored at home. But it doesn't feel like it should. It's not my home anymore. I have a bedroom here, but it's almost more like a guest room than my bedroom. Everything about here is familiar - the food, the habits, the evening activities - but it doesn't feel the same as it did. I guess this is the beginning of the end of my childhood for real. I've spent so little time here the past year - I rarely went home during the school year because of homework, and rarely the past four months because of work - that it's grown to just be another place that I can go to. I'm comfortable here, certainly. But it's still foreign, in a strange way.

I always knew that growing up meant changing, of course. I expected to lose high school friends, to change my habits and my interests. But I never expected home to not feel like home anymore. And I find that I don't even really mind.
 
Listening to: Casino Royale
Writing: A.M.O.R.E.
Grateful For: Family

BEDA 20 | Pop Music At It's Worst

The state of the popular music industry disgusts me.

That's probably not a secret if you follow my anywhere but here. But a friend posted a link on Facebook that made me revisit this thought very strongly. It was a link to a Justin Bieber song slowed down 800%. And it actually sounds good, if you can believe it. It's also 34 minutes long. But it doesn't make me want to bash my head against the wall.

But why does this have to exist in the first place? Sure, there's always been crappy popular music. But now it seems like, to me at least, it's gone above and beyond what used to be there. When someone writes a song (and I say "write" loosely, because I seriously doubt that most of the pop stars write their own music) that uses basic times tables, or repeats the same word over and over again, there is something wrong. What happened to the music industry that made it okay to do this? That made it acceptable in the public's eye? What about those struggling musicians with actual real talent, who write their own music, put their heart and soul into their work, and get so little back for it? Why are they not the popular ones?

(They are in my books)

American History X

Note: This is obviously not a BEDA. I already wrote a BEDA. But I need to get this out while it's fresh.

I just finished watching American History X. If you know anything at all about the movie, you may think it was a strange choice for me to watch. I mean, it's basically all about racism and skinheads. And if you know anything about me at all, you know that I have no tolerance for that kind of BS. But I put it on because it was on my shelf and I hadn't watched it yet and well...Edward Norton is in it, and Edward Norton is amazing.

The first images of the film are haunting. Black and white. Waves. I know from the first shot get-go that the film is going to be a powerful one. But as soon as the waves disappear, and the rest of the film starts to play, I also realize how difficult it is going to be to sit through. It was violent. Crazy violent. And the hate crimes portrayed in the movie were graphic. Definitely not as graphic as they could have been, but more graphic than I have ever experienced, and it left me sobbing and unable to watch. I actually covered my eyes and ears at one point because I was just so mortified.

I was about ready to turn off the movie at the one hour mark. The things I saw, and heard come from the characters mouths disturbed and disgusted me. I had to take a break. I walked into Kayla's bedroom, shaking. I felt weak. I honestly didn't know if I could keep watching the film. It was emotionally taxing. But I also had a feeling that if I quit now, I would regret it. I had this feeling that the ending was going to be amazingly powerful, and I knew if I quit I would never watch it again.

I may never watch it again. I just don't know. But I do know this - I have rarely felt more moved by the end of a film. More moved by a desire to do good, to change how things are. To stop the hate.

Throughout this entire film I didn't stop thinking about the HPA. It was always at the forefront of my mind. I have honestly never been more grateful to be part of this amazing organization. If I wasn't already a staff member, this film would have made me sign up.

I don't even know if I can properly convey how it made me feel, because I don't even know myself. But this is the exact reason why I love films. This is why I love story telling and why I want to create for a living. I want to move people like I have just been moved. I may never do it. And I'm okay with it. But just the knowledge that someone has that power....it's outstanding.

BEDA Day 19 | Poetry. I suck at it.

So last night I didn't fall asleep until 3 am. My brain just couldn't turn off. And while I was trying to get my brain to shut up so I could sleep, I was thinking about insomnia. Which is ironic. Thinking about insomnia is part of what kept me awake so late.

But anyways. I decided that not being able to sleep wasn't a bad thing, for once. I have two partly formed characters for A.M.O.R.E. now. And I wrote the beginnings of two really shitty poems. Like REALLY shitty. I seriously can not write poetry. I even wrote one about sucking at poetry. XD Actually, while writing it I was thinking about spoken word, so that's what this would be if I ever made it remotely good. Which I doubt.

Poetry. I suck at it.

I can't rhyme

or metaphor...metaphorize?

Imagery and alliteration are too much for me

Irony. This is a poem

Sort of

Lacking a plot

ink-induced vomit on a perfect page

STOP!

I know you're begging me

to put you out of your misery.

HA! It amuses me.

BEDA Day 18 | Moving with Wizards

I can't decide what to write about tonight. There are two things on my mind.

One - moving. I talked about this last post, but that was mostly squee'ing. What I want to talk about tonight is how moving, even if it's just across campus like I just did, is so refreshing. I mean, I hate it. I hate packing my life into boxes and lugging them down stairs, to my car, across a yard and up some more stairs. I hate unpacking the boxes. But I love the feeling I get when I'm in a new place. Well, as long as I have good company with me. Like this. It's a relief to be out of that old house, it's like I've turned over a new leaf. I'm happier than I've been in weeks, no months. I'm bouncing up and down and laughing and smiling.  I'm not sure I've felt this good since before Christmas. Which is incredibly sad, but incredibly awesome at the same time.

Two - Wizards are amazing. I just got two letters from my dear pen pals, Saryna and Audrey, and it made my already awesome day that much better. I love getting letters! Especially from wizards. It makes me feel so loved. For the longest time I didn't have any friends in the fandom, I didn't know how to connect. And then I got Twitter and BAM! Fandom friends. And then the HPA happened. BAM! More fandom friends. And they are all full of so much love and compassion, it amazes me. I see it through the HPA, but I see it in their every day lives too. Just the love for one another. And to feel like I actually have friends - admittedly, I'm not as close to them as I like. But I hope that changes! - is amazing. I feel included in this fandom, now. I feel important and like I'm part of this amazing being. I can't wait until I get to meet so many of my wizards at LeakyCon next summer. It feels so far away, but at the same time, it doesn't. I mean, it's less than a year now. And a year goes by fast. (Plus I still have all that money to save up) So, yeah. My point is I LOVE YOU ALL. And I want to get to know you better, kay? If you're reading this and don't already have me on Skype, add me. I'm siriusismyhero. But be sure to tell me who you are when you add me. :)

Listening To: The Battle - The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (I love this song so much. It's my favourite from that movie and SO gorgeous. <3)
Reading: Wizard letters!
Thankful for: Wizard love
Writing: This blog?

BEDA Day 17 | Moving!

So I have spent the whole day today packing, moving and unpacking. Yesterday Kayla and I found out that we could move, so needless to say, I've been throwing things into boxes since then. I am pretty much moved out of this house - I've just got some odds and ends that I forgot to throw in a box, some food, my fan, and my netbook here. Everything else is in various stages of being unpacked over at my new house.

Which is so much more lovely. I mean, I've stayed in them before during the Teen Video Intensive camp I went to here, and Kayla lived in them before, but it's so much different having my stuff in one of the bedrooms. There's so much more room! Everywhere! It's amazing!

Not to mention that I won't have to deal with The Roomate From Hell anymore.YAAAY! Last night was my last night here - I will be staying at my new house tonight, so I may actually never have to see her again. It's fucking awesome.

But I am starving. And sweaty. Every time I move (which has been A LOT lately) I'm shocked by how much of a work out it is. Lugging boxes up and down stairs. In and out of vehicles. Into and out of rooms. I'm exhausted. But I still want to get finished - or as close to finished as possible - unpacking tonight. And then tomorrow I'll come and clean what I have to clean and hand in my keys before work. Hopefully. I may just end up doing it Thursday. We'll see.

BEDA Day 16 | Moving Time!

So here I was, once again prepared for an uneventful day relaxing and doing absolutely nothing, when Andrew comes over and gives me a slip from the Residence Administration office. I GET TO MOVE. My house for the fall is ready to move into. Which means that I am busy packing and very very excited. Kayla and I went over there and it's so nice! There's air conditioning and we have the upstairs again. The view is GORGEOUS. It's more secluded from the rest of the houses, or at least compared to the rest of the residence and we basically have a little back yard. It's gonna be AWESOME.

And with that, I am going to let my excited fingers leave the keyboard and get back to PACKING. Hopefully I'll be ready to move tomorrow!

Listening to: Seperate Vacations - The Holiday Soundtrack
Reading: Bram Stoker's Dracula
Thankful for: Being able to move out of this house! :D
Writing: A.M.O.R.E. planning

BEDA Day 15

So I here I was, thinking that today was going to be chill and full of cleaning and Pokemon Yellow and maybe some writing and/or reading. Boy was I wrong!

Okay, maybe not TOTALLY wrong. I did do some cleaning (not enough) and I did do some Pokemon Yellow playing. But I didn't get any writing and/or reading done. Instead, I went to the beach with some friends - some of whom I haven't seen since April. Not even joking on that one. It was...ok. Not as fun as I had hoped. I kind of think I'm drifting away from them or something. I dunno. I just felt out of the loop or something. And like I was preoccupied with something, but I wasn't. I just kept staring out at the water, not even paying attention to anything. Weird or what? Maybe it has to do with the fact that all I wanted to do was sleep. XD (I almost did that, btw. We were all laying on a blanket and I nearly fell asleep. Hence sunburned shoulder.)

But it was relaxing. (And I may have cheated on Jenny Craig. Whoops. Big Moo ice cream is my bane.) And then I came home for a managers meeting with the HPA which was spiffy, and then to my brothers to hang out for some family time, which was funtimes.

So now it's nearly ten thirty and I am only just writing my blog. I need to stop making a habit out of this. It does not make for a good blog. I haven't written anything decent since the fan fiction post earlier this week. Eep. Hopefully that'll change tomorrow.

But in the mean time, I am going to ramble a bit more. Mostly about why friendships just kind of fall apart. I have this group of friends that I met at YouthWrite aka WordsWorth, which was a writing camp I attended for three years. It was amazing and one of the best things that ever happened to me. And at this camp I met some amazing people (all of whom I am now married to - we even had a ceremony) and got really close with a group of people that we - and everyone at the camp - started to dub as The Crew. They were like my second family. And one of them is my best friend. But the other ones...I dunno I just feel like I'm drifting away from them. I don't understand why, other than the fact that I'm so far away. But that didn't used to matter. We used to just pick up where we left off, but I haven't been feeling that lately. v.v I suppose it was bound to happen one day because we're all going to lead different lives - but at the same time, we're all going to be artists, so we're going to be in somewhat the same community. Kati's going to be a musician of some sort, Elise an actor, me a writer/film maker, Chris an editor, Colleen a make-up artist. And Teresa and Liam...well I'm not really sure what Liam wants to do, but Teresa wants to do something with the environment, so I suppose that's different. And then there's Conar and Emily and Cassie too, but again, not really sure what they want to do with their lives. Which is terrible. *makes note to ask them* But I think we're all going to be somehow connected to the artistic community in Alberta. Whether it just be because of people we know or because of our roots or whatever, I think we will. And I just...it's so sad that I feel this huge wall between us. It seems like this is happening with all of my friendships lately, and I think it's me. I don't get what's going on. Maybe it's just because I'm so wiped out that I don't have the energy to put into it. I dunno. But my IRL friendships seem to be disintegrating while my online ones flourish. Why can't I have both?

Days until LeakyCon: 331
Listening to: Lovegood - Ministry of Magic
Reading: Bram Stoker's Dracula
Thankful for: Hot summer days and beaches
Writing: Ginny Weasley/Draco Malfoy fanfiction

BEDA Day 14 | Bittersweet Endings

It is once again 10 o'clock as I write this. Oh boyyyy. And it wasn't even procrastination. I worked 11 hours again today!

Speaking of, today was my last day at Ardene's. And I'm actually...sad. My coworkers were just so awesome, I really enjoyed working with all of them. Especially Jamie. I'm really glad we're both going to RDC next term. Hangouts and coffee dates for sure. And despite what I wrote, I did have fun there. It was beyond frustrating sometimes and the work was tedious, but I did have fun with my coworkers. So it's very bittersweet for me. I'm glad I'll only have one job, and I'm glad I don't have to unpackage anymore earrings, but I'll miss it at the same time.

And Jamie and Debbie definitely didn't make it any easier to quit/leave. They're both so awesome. And they both are really appreciative and just...awesome. Jamie and Debbie both said that if I ever want to go back I can. So maybe for Christmas to keep myself busy. But not too busy cus I want to relax. Sooo I dunno what I'll do.

But the point of this basically is to say that I hate bittersweet endings. They suck. The end.

Days Until LeakyCon - 332
Listening to - My fan
Reading - Bram Stoker's Dracula (so gooood)
Thankful for - Friends and awesome people
Writing - Planning for next November's NaNoWriMo ("A.M.O.R.E.")

BEDA Day 13 | Retail

It's ten o'clock. I've only been home half an hour from work and I'm exhausted. I don't want to write a BEDA. *whines*

So, after the awesome response from my last blog (on here, on Facebook, on Twitter, etc) I'm sad to say that I don't have another awesome blog planned. I do really really want to say how much I appreciate your comments, though! You're fabulous! I love comments! And I feel so much better about fanficcing now. So yay! *group hug*

So, I worked today. Obviously. At both jobs, actually. And I have decided that shoppers are jerks. Seriously. I am one, and you are one, but most people are just jerks. We have so much stock right now at Ardene's that Jamie and I didn't have a chance to do recovery before we closed. We have half an hour from close to get out of there. And we have to count the till, sweep, mop (we didn't do that tonight) and do recovery. I swept and did recovery and Jamie counted the till and did recovery and we DID NOT GET DONE. O_O The store was kind of a disaster when I left. And we spent HALF AN HOUR cleaning. Or at least, I did. (Because I swept mostly right before close) So I'm kind of in a RAWR-y mood right now at customers. *glares* Clean up after yourselves, dammit. You wouldn't leave that kind of a mess in your house, or at an office. So don't do it at MY place of work.

I think everyone should spend time working in retail for at least a while in their life time.

BEDA Day 12 | The Joys and Curses of Fanfiction

I write fanfiction. I've written fanfiction since the 8th or 9th grade. (So that'd be 7 or 8 years, peeps) My very first fanfiction was actually a Lord of the Rings fanfiction that I thought was just amazing. It was 18 whole pages long (I think it was 18, something like that) and I thought that was SO LONG. Ha! Try 32,000 words, younger self! :P And I was so very very proud of it. I even showed it to my English teacher and he said it that it blew him away. Which made me even more proud. Until I read it like a year later and realized how absolutely TERRIBLE it is. Like plot holes, rambling, terrible writing, cliche's like there's no tomorrow. Ay yiy yiy. But this was the first time I had written something that long. And my first fanfiction. (Though I didn't call it fanfiction, I just called it my Lord of the Rings story. I didn't know what fanfiction was then.)

Eight years later, I'm still writing fanfiction. It's all Harry Potter now (well, with a bit of Star Wars mixed in there. Though I will probably turn the Star Wars fanfiction into some short Original stuff) and I love it. It keeps me writing - because when I write fanfiction, I don't have to plan it out. I don't have to create characters or settings, I can just write. Which is what I love so much about it, and hate so much about writing original stuff. It takes SO LONG to get to the actual writing bit. And I mean, I love discovering the plot, I do. And it's really rewarding - much more rewarding than fanfiction - to write my own stuff. But it's a lot more challenging.

In a lot of ways, that's why I still write fanfictio. It's easy. It comes to me as easily as typing. The words come, I just let them loose. Fanfiction is a release, an escape for me. And it's a connection to my dearest fandom.

A lot of people say that fanfiction isn't real writing. That it's a waste of time. Well, I tend to disagree. (Though I am starting to get more on the fence about that.) If it weren't for fanfiction, I doubt I would be writing today. It is because of Harry Potter that I stayed in love with writing. I mean, I've always loved to write stories. Ever since I could write I loved to. But it is because of Harry Potter that I am still doing it. And sure, I don't have to work as hard at it, but I think that's also because I've been doing it for eight years. That's a long time. I still have to use my skills at it. I have to make sure the characters are in character, I have to keep the story tightly nit together and interesting, I have to use my creativity to come up with new and interesting ways to portray something. Which is all practice.

But at the same time, part of me is ashamed that I write fanfiction. It's not going to get my anywhere. Maybe it'll get me some more notice in the fandom, but I don't care about that. It's not like I can publish it, or can even use it if I wanted to get an agent. They'd all look down their noses at me and scowl. Because even if the ideas are mine, most of it belongs to JK Rowling.

I've also started to wonder if it's not a waste of my time. It is my goal to get published. The only time I have been published was in a camp magazine. Which does count, but it's not what I mean by getting published. I want to see my work in a real magazine. I want people to read it. And by writing fanfiction, that's not going to happen. Sure, people will read it on fanfiction.net, on Facebook, on here, possibly even on my website. But that's not the same. That's not the same as being a published writer. And so many of my friends are. They've all had poetry or short stories published. I've had nothing. And it makes me feel inadequate. So I'm wondering if I shouldn't quit fanfiction, and put the energy into doing my own stuff.

But how can I do that when I love it so much? I get so much joy out of writing fanfiction and exploring Jo Rowling's world. How can I quit that?

Listening to: The Greatest Story Never Told - Murray Gold
Days until LeakyCon: 334
Grateful for: Good music

BEDA Day 11 | Three Parts

In true Vlogbrothers fashion, this blog is going to be split into three parts. Also - when did it get to be August 11???

Part 1: Weightloss

This blog is the first time I've really talked about my weight loss. I don't even really talk to people IRL about it. I guess I was...embarrassed. Embarrassed that I have to lose the weight in the first place. My weight has ALWAYS been a sensitive issue with me, even when I wasn't over weight. I've felt fat pretty much for as long as I can remember. Since 7th grade. (Which was 8 years ago) That's a long time to feel fat. So I was embarrassed. I didn't really tell anyone. And now I am telling YOU. So it's a big step for me - admitting that I needed to lose weight, and that I have.

In fact, I am down 23 pounds as of today. I had a meeting with my consultant this morning (I had to get up far too early on my day off to get there) and I only have 7 more pounds to go before I hit my goal weight! This means that by the end of August, I will be SKINNY. (I already feel skinny after 23 pounds, I can't imagine how it's going to feel to lose 7 more!) *happy dance* I can't wait to go shopping! (Because pretty much all of my clothes are too big.) :D Also, I'm thinking that once I hate my goal weight, I'm gonna celebrate by either getting a nose piercing, or a belly button piercing. I'm not sure which yet. Maybe belly button. It'll be more of a motivation to keep the weight off. And my dad is less likely to see it and give me the evil eye. XD

Part 2: Design

So, as some of you may or may not know, this past year I graduated from the Northern Alberta Institute of Technology's Graphic Communication program (with Honours!). Which means that I'm the go-to girl for my family's graphic design needs now. Which I don't mind. (Well, I kind of do because I feel so inexperienced and blocked.) And my brother has come to me in need of a promotional poster. It's no biggie, just letter sized. Should take me a couple hours max, right? Well, the picture he gave me is FIVE inches by FOUR inches with a 96 DPI resolution. I need a 200 resolution AT LEAST for printing. And 5 x 4 is not NEARLY big enough. I'm gonna have to stretch it and reduce the resolution even more. :\ At least I have a clear picture in my head of what I want to do...I think.

Part 3: Birthday's!

Today is Andrew Slack's birthday! Now, I dunno about you guys, but Andrew is a pretty huge influence in my life. (For those of you who are unaware, Andrew is the creator and director of the HPA) I haven't talked to him one on one before, exactly (except for in staff meetings), but he is AMAZING. Like, so amazing and inspirational. And funny! Did I mention inspirational? I mean, every time I hear him speak I'm filled with such hope and wonder for our world. He is one brilliant man. I mean, yesterday I was talking about fangirling people and made a comment about John Green...if there is one man that I may look up to more than John Green, it is Andrew Slack. And that is saying something, because I want to BE John Green. (In terms of writing. Not literally. That'd be weird.)

Anyway, my point is this - HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW.

BEDA Day 10 | Celebrity

So I'm a huge fangirl. It's really no secret. I love Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Firefly, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, wizard rock, Chamelion Circuit, etc etc. Half the people I follow on Twitter I follow because I'm a fangirl. It is one of my dreams to meet Melissa Anelli because I'm such a huge fan. But I've just been thinking lately, how strange fangirling is. I mean...it's not really for things, but for actual people, it has kind of hit me how weird it is. I freely fangirl the Vlogbrothers, wizard rockers, YouTubers, authors...(well, actually, mostly just Jo and John and sometimes Maureen Johnson.) I wonder how they feel about being fangirled? Because obviously they're people, even if they don't really seem like it on the interwebs sometimes. Maybe they're used to it and it's not strange at all anymore. I don't know. But I was just thinking about that yesterday, when the new Chamelion Circuit songs came out and Taekia and I started fangirling Alex and Charlie (well, Alex for her part, Charlie on mine. XD) and then we started talking about Edplant and...yeah. I just kind of thought, "I wonder how they feel about being fangirled." And I had no idea what to write about today, so this is what I'm writing about. XD

Another strange thing about fangirling. A week or so ago Michael Aranda commented on one of my videos. Needless to say, I freaked out. I squee'd and my hands were shaking and I just stared at the computer screen thinking, "Holy shit, Michael Aranda commented on one of MY videos!"I wasn't even subscribed to him before this, (sorry, Michael) but here I was fangirling as if one of my hero's had just said "Hi" to me. All because he's a fairly well known YouTuber. It kind of blows my mind, but even still, every time I see the email that YouTube sent me (because I refuse to delete it) my stomach jolts forward excitedly.

The whole fan culture is kind of strange to me, actually. Which is really funny, because it is such a huge part of my life. Basically every moment of the day is somehow related to me being a fangirl. Whether it's through writing (which I only do because of Miss JK Rowling) or working (which I do so much of so I can go to LeakyCon), or HPA'ing (obvious why this is fangirl-y), spending time online or just hanging out with  Kayla (where we spend most of our time fangirling). I guess when I say the fan culture is strange, I think I mostly mean the fan culture of being fans of people, rather than things. Like being fans of sports or movies or books or whatever isn't strange. It's the people thing. Like, instead of saying "OMG I LOVE JOHN GREEN'S BOOKS!!!!!!" I would say "OMG I LOVE JOHN GREEN!!1!!!1" Even though I have never actually met him or interacted with him. (Though both of those statements are true)

(...I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot in this blog. Maybe I need to start planning these out better.)

It wasn't until honestly, Michael Aranda's comment and my reaction that I started feeling strange. I don't feel strange when I fangirl Charlie McDonell or John Green...but I do still feel weird that I squee'd over Michael Aranda. Famous people - even just Internet Famous people - have strange effects on me, and on our society. I mean, there's a reason why tabloids exist. Our culture is obsessed with celebrity (which is the point I've really been trying to get across here) and I'm not even really sure why. Sure, they're glamorous and some of them have the most amazing jobs ever (I mean, come on, who DOESN'T want to be able to make movies for a living? REALLY.) but then some of them are completely pointless. *cough* Reality TV stars *cough* I really hate reality TV - it's obviously fake - but then when the "stars" of the TV shows get famous and "important" in our society, it annoys me. They haven't DONE anything to be famous. They just put themselves on a TV show to try to win money. Whoooooooo. At least by fangirling Mike Lombardo, I'm essentially fangirling his music (or at least, just as much as I am the man himself). But when someone fangirls Snooki (who I only know exists thanks to the Vlogbrothers) what are they fangirling, exactly?

Just something to think about.

BEDA Day 9 | Technology, Roommates and Commitments

Today is the first day that I really don't feel like blogging. Pretty good, considering we're 9 days in. But I'm going to push through it.

Yesterday I bought my netbook. It's shiny. :) Except that it has issues shutting down...fracking Windows. So I have an email in to tech support. They better give me something decent, I tells ya. But on the good news front, is that when prompted to give it a name, I called it TARDIS. And I nearly put my name as The Master, but didn't think that was quite right, seems as The Doctor has the TARDIS. And I'm obviously not The Doctor, so I just put my name. XD

I think I'm going to make the first bit of my blog about me, and then we'll see where the rest takes us. Mostly because I feel the need to rant.

So...I did a post about roommates earlier in the month, talking about the good and the bad. Well, I'm ranting about the bad right now. The Roommate From Hell, well is just that, obviously. But last night made me want to explode. I was playing with my Netbook late, until about 11:30, and then, absolutely exhausted, wanted to go to bed. So I try to sleep. And then I hear this awful scraping/squeaking sound downstairs. In the living room. Yep, you guessed it. She was having sex in the living room. Yeaaah. Awkward. Not to mention that I had to listen to that shit. I didn't want to hear that. I don't like her, you think I want to hear her having sex with her tool of a boyfriend? No thanks. Ugh. Can I move yet?

/rant

My brother texted me this morning, when I was sleepy (because I didn't sleep well last night thanks to the roommate) and I hadn't had any coffee yet and asked me to help him design a poster. He wants it ASAP, aka before the end of the week. ... I work 41 hours this week. I only have one day off. I agreed to it, but that was before he said he wanted it like, now. *headdesk* I'm exhausted. And I still have 31 hours of work this week. I don't think my creativity is going to be very high on my list, to be perfectly honest. And I would love to help him but...I'm just not sure I can. But I'd feel bad about backing out now.

Uhhhhh....I have no idea what else to blog about. I guess this was just a whole lot of me complaining. Whoopsies. I didn't want to do any of these kinds of blog posts. Oh well. I'm sleepy. That's my excuse. XD

BEDA Day 8 | Ze Muse

Before I start in on today's blog: I think I've decided to get the camera. (See yesterday's blog for explanation). Because a) it's less money, so I'll be able to afford to book a room at LeakyCon soon-ish still, and b) I do miss having a camera, while I have a computer.

EDIT: ...I got the netbook. :P

Now, onto today's topic!

As some of you may know, I'm writing a book. I'm not going to get into the plot, because that's not what this blog is about, and honestly, I'm still unsure about a lot of stuff. So all you need to know is that I'm writing an apocalyptic novel possibly for Teens. I have been trying to get the plot all solid so I can start rewriting it. (I wrote it for NaNoWriMo and it's completely different now, in a really good way.) I keep coming up on snags, and when I was working on it on Thursday, I was so close to just saying screw it and tossing it to the wind. But I've spent too much time on it to do that now. SO, no worries, people, it's not getting tossed.

My muse seems to have just, wandered off. There's nothing worse than that when trying to be creative. Especially when I have such high expectations for myself. I've decided to give myself a break from my book for a bit (from even wanting to think about it. Even though that hasn't happened yet. I'm still constantly thinking about it) in the hopes that when I come back to it, the problem will fix itself.

I decided this yesterday when I went to bed. Right after I finished reading "Suite Scarlette" by Maureen Johnson, actually. (This was the first book I have ever read of hers. I've read "Let it Snow" where she writes a third of the book, but I didn't count that as a whole book. I will give my review of "Suite Scarlette" tomorrow, I think.) I struggled to fall asleep, not unlike normal, and then when I woke up, I suddenly had this new idea for a book in my head. Like the completion of Maureen's book had somehow woken up my muse from a deep slumber.

This was the first time in a long time that I started writing basically as soon as I got up. Just scribbling away ideas until I needed some input from people. (If you want to give input, it's on my Facebook. If I don't have you as a friend on Facebook, ask me for a link on Twitter.) I think it's strange how the muse does that. How it's so damn temperamental. It is the laziest thing in the world. But once it wakes up, it works its ASS off. Goes on overload. I love that. And hate it at the same time.

Shifts at Ardene's left: 4
Days of summer left: 32
Days until LeakyCon: 138
Listening to: A Dazzling End - Murray Gold
Last Google search: Types of love

BEDA Day 7 | A Technology Debate

So, I have a few things that I want to get technology-wise before LeakyCon.

a) a digital camera, because I lost mine at the Calgary Comic Expo. (I think I mentioned this in a previous post)

and,

b) a Netbook. For writing and school notes a schtuff. But mostly writing.

(Also an iPad. But that's not going to happen.)

I was content with waiting for a few months before I got either, but then Best Buy had to go and have a sale. Well, it's tomorrow night. After they close. It's like a VIP, members-only sale. And Netbooks are $25 off. And so are mice. (And I really need a new mouse.) And the camera I want is currently on sale. ($50 off) And I can't decide which one I want/need more. So my task for you, my dear followers, is to help me choose!

NETBOOK
a


It's a PC, sure (and I'm an Apple girl all the way), but it's tiny and compact and can go with me anywhere. It'll definitely help on the procrastination when it comes to my book, and it will also be good for no procrastination when it comes to school assignments. (And also for general note taking in school) Also, I will have a computer when it comes to traveling (aka LeakyCon), so I will be able to do computer-ly stuff. This could technically go under "school supplies" which I can cover under my student loan, sort of. (I didn't plan to claim it, but I did claim some computer stuff under my student loan, like interwebs and ink and such). With the Best Buy sale, I get $25 off. The sale is only for a couple of hours.

CAMERA
a or b


Camera's are useful things. I love taking pictures with my friends, and the video feature will be handy as hell if ever I start vlogging again. (Which I plan to do after BEDA) It will be less expensive than the Netbook, even with all of the accessories I will need. *cough* Memory cards/carrying case *cough* The replacement plans are definitely less expensive. And I will have to get one BEFORE LeakyCon, like HAVE to. Whereas I don't HAVE to have a Netbook before LeakyCon. (I do already have a computer. I don't have a camera anymore). And with getting a hotel + airfare + keynotes + ticket to the park, I'm not 100% sure I will be able to afford both. (Though I could probably borrow my mom and dad's if I needed to.) The camera will be easier to afford later in the year, because it is less expensive than the Netbook, but I only have until the end of August to claim the sale price on a, which is $50 less than normal.

What do you think? What would you get?

Shift's at Ardene's left: 5
Days of summer left: 33
Days until LeakyCon: 339
Listening to: Martha's Theme - Murray Gold (aka Doctor Who genius composer)
Last Google search: 110-3018 (a serial number)

BEDA Day 6 | Cutting It To the Wire

When I started writing this blog, I had exactly 2 hours and 2 minutes to post this until I fail BEDA. And for one of the few of the few times in my life, it's not because I am procrastinating. (I am one of the world's biggest procrastinator's, I swear. Even if it's something I love to do, like write, I procrastinate like there is no tomorrow. Twitter is my bane.) But this baby is so late not because of procrastination, but because of work. Yep, good old work.

But, work is not the point of this blog. I want to ask you this simple question - why in the name of Merlin do we procrastinate so much? I get it if it's something we don't want to do - like school work. But my procrastination does not just fall into that section. At first it was just school, probably. But as time went on, I stopped at the procrastination station and filled up more and more. For everything. Oh, I need to go grocery shopping? Okay, let's check my email. And then tumblr. And then twitter. Oh. The grocery store's closed. I need to do laundry? Okay. I'll just watch this episode of Doctor Who first... I want/need to plan/write my novel/fanfiction? I sit on Twitter, YouTube, BLOGGER, whatever, until most of the day is gone. Does this make sense? No. Not at all.

So I am asking you this, my dear followers. Why do I do this? What are your worst procrastination tools and what do you use them on? How much do you procrastinate?

(Whoa short blog.)

Shifts left at Ardene's: 5
Days left of summer: 33
Days until LeakyCon: 340
Last Google search (because I'm cool like that and copy Kristina Horner): "Kronos" (I was researching for my book.)

BEDA Day 5 | Randomness

Because I posted yesterday's blog so late, it does not feel like I should be writing this one yet. I feel like I'm cheating and writing it too early or something.

I don't really want to talk about anything substantial today. I want to just write and see what I come up with, because I'm tired and have only been up for an hour. (Yay days off and sleeping in until nearly noon!)

Have you guys heard about Voldemort's Inbox? It may be the most awesome thing since StarKidPotter. Not even kidding. (And they even make an appearance in it.)

I'm listening to Doctor Who Series Three and Four soundtracks right now. So much love. <3 Now just to find Series 1 and 2 and 5...though I don't think 5 is out yet. Also, I need to rewatch Series 5. CusholycrapImissDoctorWho. Cus you know, after finishing all of the episodes last week, I'm suddenly feeling withdrawal symptoms. I didn't care when I didn't watch it for a few weeks when I still had episodes to watch, but now that I'm all caught up I'm like "DOCTOR WHOOOOOOOOOO". And Torchwood just isn't doing it for me.  (Gwen annoys me. And it's too much like a normal cop shop. I don't like crime dramas.)

I am going to send the letters to my penpals today! Finally! (It only took me like, a month, after starting the facebook thread. Ay yiy yiy.)

I think I have decided to quit Tumblr. I just don't care anymore.

I HAVE AN ENDING PLANNED FOR MY BOOK. CHIYA! FINALLY. I mean, I've been trying to figure out a proper plot since what, May? I mean, I haven't been working on it diligently, but STILL. IT'S THERE NOW. So I just need to do some character creation AND I CAN START WRITING. OMG.

Also, I am going camping in a couple of weekends - on the 20-22. I don't know how BEDA is going to work for that....but I'll figure something out. I'm REALLY excited. I think Elise and I are going to go to the mountains. (The ROCKY Mountains, that is.) I hope to have a new camera by then. Seems as I lost mine at the Calgary Comic Expo. Sigh. (I'm blogging about this three weeks in advance. I must be REALLY excited.)

I have a Harry Potter desktop calendar, and today's is Snape and Draco in HBP. Where Snape pushes Draco against the wall. XD *cough* Snaco? *cough*

Ha, this is the longest blog I've written so far, and it's about nothing. This is awesome.

Shifts left at Ardene's: 6
Days left of summer: 34
Days until LeakyCon: 341

BEDA Day 4 | Cheering on Human Equality

I am so glad I wrote this blog in my journal at work today. A twelve hour work day does not bode well for writing at night. (This is also why I am writing this so late.)

When I was on my break, I got a text message from Kayla saying, "Prop 8 in California was just declared unconstitutional. Awesome. Yay equal rights." To which I squee'd and jumped up and down in the back room, nearly upsetting my dinner in the process.

(For those of you who have been living under a hole the past few years and don't know what Prop 8 was - it was a constitutional amendment created in California in 2008 that basically said that only heterosexuals could marry.)

Now, I may not be American or directly affected by Proposition 8, but I am an unprejudiced, compassionate human being. I am an activist, a very proud staffer of The Harry Potter Alliance. And I'm happy dancing tonight not just for the Californian's that this affects directly, but for humanity. For the giant step that we have taken towards equality today. Because surely, knocking down this proposition will lead to others as well.

So, this is me, using this blog as my medium to cheer on the ladies and gentlemen who decided that Proposition 8 was inhumane and wrong. For choosing human equality. BRAVO!

BEDA: Day 3 | To Quit or to Stay

HI FOLLOWERS! You're all awesome, you know that? Truly. I love you for following me blog. <3

But I am once again stuck for what to write about. AGAIN, I had an idea last night but didn't write it down and now I can't remember it. :\ Oh, self. Self self self.

Oh hey! I know! Let's talk about growing up! That's a fun topic.

(I don't really know why this popped into my head, but let's go with it.)

So, growing up. When we're little it's all we want to do, but now that we (or I should say I) have grown up, I just want to go back to being little. I mean, the freedom is awesome. But the responsibility! I mean, I hate cooking. So if it wasn't for the fact that I was on Jenny Craig right now then I would probably just be eating junk all the time. Though, it is funny. In the past three years, I have grown up A LOT. Because I have been forced to.

When I first went to college, I was miserable. Absolutely miserable. I was sobbing every day, calling my mom and telling her that I wanted to go home. I was fine when I was in class. But I was only in class for a three to four or five hours a day. That's not very much. Then I would mope. Because I didn't know anyone and I was lonely. But then one of my friends - who I was not very close with at the time, she was more of an acquaintance, really - started texting me. And that turned it all around for me. I mean, I was about one more tear away from dropping out of school and moving home. I would've if I hadn't been in a full-year English course.

That was the first semester of my first year of college. Miserable. And then Elise turned it around for me. And I met Kayla, and started hanging out with Andrew and Carmen more. And I started to actually enjoy myself.

And then summer came, and I moved home and my mother and I were at each other's throats. It was bad. :\

But then I moved again, to Edmonton this time, to go to a different school. Where as the year before I went home every single weekend, when I lived in Edmonton I went home every few months. I do blame school for this, but I also didn't really want to. I wanted to spend what little free time I had away from school on the couch, watching a movie, or sleeping in my comfy bed. Not the spare one at my mom and dad's.

And then I moved AGAIN. (Yes, I move a lot. I hate it) Back to Red Deer. I'm now living with one of my best friends, Kayla (yes, the same Kayla mentioned above), and a roommate who shall go nameless because I just can't stand her. Despite the Roomate-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, it's pretty awesome living with one of my BFFs. I mean, of course there are times when we want to kill one another. We've had our differences. (There was a time when I was having a really bad week and I finally realized the actual meaning of the phrase "cut the tension with a knife" we could have done that.) But it's pretty awesome. I get to squee at her all the time - she's one of the few IRL friends I have who are actually Nerdfighters - and we talk about HP and DW all the time. And we rant at one another. And it's pretty fantastic.

But anyway, the point is, that if I had not stuck out that first semester of college, if I had quit like I so wanted to, I never would have met Kayla. Which would REALLY suck. SO, basically, things may suck right now - you may be having the worst summer of your life (I actually kind of am.) but things will get better. It may be in a week, a month, but it will get better. Because I have never felt that awful for that long stretch of time in my life, but I got through it.

Yay inspirational blogs!

BEDA Day 2 | A Hufflepuff Point of View

It's no secret that the Hogwarts houses don't exactly get along. There's always some sort of war going on between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and I wouldn't be surprised if Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff had a rivalry too. But it extends further than the books. It extends into the fandom, which is to be expected. Most of it is all in good fun, just poking fun and teasing. But some times the teasing goes too far. I'm talking about the Hufflepuff jokes that other houses seem to think are all just good fun, but I, being a Hufflepuff, take as being extremely offensive.

I get that they're supposed to be funny and that they're said in good fun, but I also know that as a Hufflepuff, I do not find them amusing. And I also know that I'm not the only Hufflepuff who feels that way.

Now, people have said that I'm taking it too personally, that I'm too sensitive. Yes, okay, I'm sensitive. Because I was bullied all throughout school - not unlike a lot of the people who make the Hufflepuff jokes. And yes, I take it personally. Because it's about my house. I bet Gryffindors would stand for the same thing to happen to their house. But because we're Hufflepuffs, the ones who, in the books, were looked at as being the leftovers, we're just expected to roll over and take it. Well I'm sorry, but I rolled over and took it for twelve years growing up. I'm not going to do it anymore. And this seems like as good of a place as any to put my foot down.

So I suppose what I'm trying to say in this blog is this: just because Hufflepuff's are abused in the books, does not mean that it's okay to do it in the fandom. Just because Hufflepuff's aren't known for the bravery, or their intelligence, doesn't mean that we are a lesser house. Look at Cedric Diggory. He was chosen above every other person at Hogwarts to be the Triwizard Champion. He was chosen above every Gryffindor, every Ravenclaw, every Slytherin. And he was a Hufflepuff. A "lowly" Hufflepuff whose loyalty to Harry is the reason why he took the egg to the bath.

I know that no one is trying to personally insult anyone by making the jokes. I also know that the people who make them are fantastic people. But when it comes down to it, the outcome of the jokes - that it hurts people - overshadows the intentions. So please, the next time you're think about starting a Hufflepuff joke, think about that.

BEDA: Day 1 | The Muse

Oh Muse, you are so very, very fickle.

I have been sitting at my computer for around an hour, trying to come up with an idea for this blog. And granted, I have allowed the internet to distract me. But that's because I am idea-less. I have written probably around 500 words, and then deleted them, because it's rambling, or not what I want to talk about or whatever. :\ *points to self* Perfectionist? So my cursor just blinks and blinks and blinks at me, while the page remains mostly empty. It's like I'm trying to write an essay that I don't have a thesis for, or a story that I can't think of an ending for. (Oh, Merlin, that's the worst!) The Muse is funny that way - it can be so active one moment, and just...gone the next. Lockheart said that fame was fickle. Well, I say that dear Muse, you are pretty damn fickle.

I mean, he - and by he, I usually mean Mister Draco Malfoy. He seems to pop into my head and take over. Have I ever told you the time I was writing a fanfiction and he just inserted himself in? No? Well he did. And it was supposed to be a Hermione/Charlie fanfiction for my friend, but then DRACO decided that he wanted to be the center of attention. What a prat. BUT ANYWAY. He always strikes at the worst times. Like when I'm trying to sleep. Or when I'm working/at school. Or even when I just don't have my journal. I get this amazing idea - whether it be for my book, or for art, or for whatever - and I can't do anything about it. I scribble some notes down on a scrap of paper, but by the time I go to do something about it, he's run off to wherever it is that he vacations at and smirks at me. Prat.

This is exactly what happened to me when it comes to BEDA. I had SO MANY ideas on Friday, but I wouldn't let myself blog abut it, because then it wouldn't be about BEDA. But I didn't write them down. And now the Muse is off galavanting. Merlin only knows where. STRIKE ME NOW!

.... .... .... .... .... ....

Nope. Nothing. Sigh.